Can you tell us about your failures?
He stuttered, “my failures? Oh, I have had many of them, but…”.
Some weeks ago, I was at the event of an organisation for young professionals and graduate students in my city. Unlike a couple of such events I have attended before, this one left me with a unique experience. It brought me face-to-face with a salient reality among young professionals and students alike - a subject around which the foundation of this article is built.
Many young people are getting frustrated with the one-sided success "TED Talks"
Exactly one month ago, I published 7 Lessons I learnt from my first job rejections. Within a couple of days, I was already overwhelmed with the positive response it received especially from university students and young professionals. From the feedback I am (still) getting, I cannot help but notice a trend:
There seems to be an increasing frustration about the portrayal of success (only) on social media, without any trace or talk of the hurdles, setbacks or failures encountered along the way.
This is not unique to communication on social media, it is also the case with physical events like the said: "TED Talks" I had attended.
The "TED Talk": How to achieve professional success as an immigrant
At this particular event, two speakers had been invited to speak about mentorship and career development to a young professional audience. The first (who is on focus here) was a brilliant alumnus of the host association. Within a decade of moving to the country, he had made several extra-ordinary achievements and came to share his journey with this audience.
Highlighting his successes and achievements, he spoke about how several years ago, he had migrated to the country as an international student for his graduate education. And about a decade later, here he was with several accomplishments in his field which have led him to co-found a company while also working at a renowned National Research Institute.
His story left me in awe! His narrative provided a road map of what was possible for an immigrant in this country. As an immigrant myself, I was always hungry for these kinds of stories. He concluded, “if you have any question, please feel free to ask now”. Everyone applauded the local way - by knocking on their desks. For a split second, there was dead silence in the room, until a hand from beside me was raised, signalling to ask a question.
A young voice uttered, "thank you very much for your very inspiring speech and presentation, but can you please tell us about your failures?”
I looked around; he seemed to have spoken the mind of almost everyone in the room as they all nodded in unison.
How (not) to relate to young people: "Biko" understand your audience
At this point, the disconnection between this brilliant speaker's inspiring “TED Talk” with his mostly "millennial" audience was exposed.
The everyday life of a young student or professional is usually not entirely straight forward and filled with success after success - if only one is brilliant and continue to work hard. On the contrary, even with hardwork and brillance, it is riddled with several difficult hurdles, challenges and failures.
So, while the speaker's offer of all that could be possible if one is brilliant and work hard was very inspiring and helpful, It failed to meet the need of his young audience or relate with their daily experience of navigating through life.
In response to the question, the stuttered, “My failures? Oh, I have had many of them, but..”.
Conclusion: As I sat back and watched him respond further, it became apparent to me that he was not prepared for such a question, and didn't feel entirely comfortable being vulnerable around this audience. That day, I had learnt a valuable lesson and made a resolve: I was not going to make this speaker's mistake. I was not going to be asked: “but can you now please tell us about your failures?”
Note: "TED Talk" here is used to refer to a speech and presentation to an audience and not the TED organised events.